The Big Opening Number


What would a fantasy role playing game be without a big-time, Broadway-style opening musical production number? Well, you would probably call it ‘sane’ but it sure wouldn’t be Killer Breakfast! Tracy and Laura Hickman — with the help of special guest Frank Mentzer (contributing designer to the original Dungeons & Dragons game as well as renown Gencon Auctioneer) – and the usual crew open the show with a no-holds-barred rendition of ‘Phantoms of the Ravenloft.’ (With apologies to Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber and Charles Hart & Richard Stilgoe.) (Plus an additional apology to Tim Rice for incorrectly crediting him with the original lyrics in the video.) Sing along if you like…

We wrote adventure games / for TSR
But one above the rest / Was quite bizarre.
Now it’s returned again / though not the same…
The Writers of the Ravenloft have come…
To play their game!

Come play my RPG / for these two hours
We’ll kill more character’s / than ten Jack Baurs!
It’s Killer Breakfast time. You glance behind…
The Makers of the Ravenloft return…
To blow your mine!

Those who have played the game / draw back in dread
Character’s spring to life…
(TRACY) … then drop down dead!
(DUET) And though you plead and beg / and roll your dice…
The DM of the Ravenloft will kill…
… and not think twice!

(Chorus: It’s Here … it’s time for Killer Breakfast! Beware! It’s time for Killer Breakfast…)

In all of Ravenloft / Strahd was the best
The Lord Soth somehow came…
(LAURA) You know the rest!
(DUET) So we’ve returned again / To fix mistakes.
The Phantoms of the Ravenloft have come…
To up the Stakes!

We are trying to establish a complete cast list of participants. If you recognize yourself in this episode of the podcast, please leave a comment with your name, contact information and where in the video you saw yourself.

2 Comments to “The Big Opening Number”

  1. Nathan Says:

    This was great! However, my inner Broadway geek prevents me from not mentioning one thing, while I am sure Tim Rice appreciates your apologies, he had nothing to do with The Phantom of the Opera, Charles Hart and Richard Stilgoe wrote the lyrics. Nonetheless, I had a great laugh!

  2. Tracy Hickman Says:

    Oh, no! Now I not only have to apologize to Charles Hart and Richard Stilgoe but also to Tim Rice TWICE! Thank you, Nathan, for setting that right.


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